My Fellow Americans

United we stand with the following exceptions:

The Native American Indians are savage lazy drunkards who cannot be trusted.  They sneak up on you when you least expect it, and they cheat you at the gambling casinos.  They try to put casinos everywhere, demoralizing each community so they can ultimately bring their real plan to fruition.  Their plan is to reclaim our land, overthrow our government and replace it with their own.  The white house will become the national wigwam and spirits, chanting and mysticism will replace Christianity as the national religion.  They are working on a universal health care system for their medicine men.  Everyone will be smoking peyote.

The Africans want revenge for making them work for us.  It's not like they worked for nothing; they got free room and board.  Considering the extreme poverty and violence in Africa, they should be grateful we shipped their ancestors over here so they could have a better life.  You have to watch them with suspicion, though.  They are a lazy bunch and will steal anything not nailed down.  Some of them smell bad, and they beat their children and wives.  Most blacks are on drugs and are responsible for nearly all of the crime in America today.  They suck up the tax dollars of hard working people like me by having lots of children by many different fathers so they can stay on welfare.  Sooner or later, they will take over the country because they are having so many little welfare babies.  We will all be speaking in tongues.  That's why I am grateful to the Republican Party for trying to halt the entitlement programs.  The Republicans understand how dangerous too many poor Africans can be to our great nation.

And you'd better watch those Irish, especially those Irish Catholics.  They drink to excess and when drunk they like to brawl.  They are all alcoholics.  The men are just dumb potato farmers who are as corrupt as the Catholic church itself.  I bet they are pedophiles just like their beloved priests.  Don't hire them because they don't show up for work everyday, and when they do they just drink their lunch.  Legally, you can't ask them if they are Irish or Catholic, but if they have red hair, love funny stories, or treat you like you are their new best friend they are probably Irish Catholic.

Avoid all Mormons, because they believe in marrying more than one woman, and that is just not the American way!  Same things with Mennonites, except they marry only one woman but it is usually a sister, cousin or aunt.  Americans do not condone incest!  It is OK to be friends with Jews, as long as they work for you and increase your wealth.  They are very good with money, and tend to be honest, but anyone who doesn't believe in Jesus simply cannot be a good American, so keep them at arms length.  Do not invite them over for dinner, they will not eat American food because they say it is forbidden in their religion.  Keep your relationship purely business.  America was founded in Christianity, and since the Jews do not believe that Christ is our risen Savior, they cannot be loyal Americans.

Homosexuals and lesbians are definitely not good Americans.  After all, the bible condemns homosexuality and it was probably one of the commandments that Moses destroyed on the mountain.  Thou shalt not be homosexual.  I'm certain that's what God intended.  At any rate, homosexuality is a choice, and those types of people are clearly not capable of making good choices.  The black African-Americans may have started the whole Aids thing, but it was homosexuals that spread it all over the United States.  Now they want the right to marry!  Of all the stupid, idiotic things I have ever heard, that one takes the cake!  Homosexual men do have excellent fashion tastes, so they can continue to design our clothing and make-up, but they really do need to keep it in the closet.  We can't have them influencing our tender youth.

Remember the Russian Commies?  They are still everywhere you look.  Never invite strong, plain looking women into your life, as they are likely spying on you for their motherland.  You can tell the commies by their Russian sounding name and if they like to drink vodka.  Russians consider vodka their patriotic drink, so they will not turn it down if it is offered to them.  If you are not sure if someone is a commie, offer them vodka and see if they drink it.  That is a sure test to see if they are commies.

Oh, and don't forget the Japs and the chinks.  I think they are all the same.  They all look alike and they all cheered when Pearl Harbor was bombed.  Don't trust the French, either.  They can never make up their minds whose side they are on.  All they want to do is make love, not war.  And where are the French when you really need them?  They are in the wine cellar, drunk.  Hiltler did not really commit suicide, that's just what the Germans want you to believe.  Where's the body?  Where's the DNA evidence?  The Germans have Hitler in hiding and they are just waiting for the right moment to take over the world.

Anyone who looks Middle Eastern is likely to be a terrorist.  Do not be fooled by the ones who have lived here for a couple of generations, it is all part of their grand plan.  They are called sleeper cells and are only waiting for further instruction.  They wear all those robes and veils to hide how treacherous they really are.  They have Osama Bin Laden hidden as well.  Again I ask you, where's the body?  Where's the DNA evidence?  President Obama is the worst anti-nationalist in all of American history.  His parents were part of the original terrorist plot to bring American down and it is working!  He pretended to capture Osama Bin Laden so he could get re-elected.  He is not even a legal citizen of this country.  Donald Trump is proving that.  Donald Trump did what the CIA and Homeland Security could not.  I think he is a distant relative to Suddam Hussein.  It cannot be a coincidence Hussein is Obama's middle name.  Michelle Obama and their children look like the perfect American family, but they look like black terrorists.  They are deceiving an entire nation of fools and the alarm must be sounded!

OK, now that we have eliminated all the undesirable people, let us gather our guns and stand together as Americans to fight the enemy.  We will build our own Militia.  It is important now more than ever to show your patriotism, to proudly wave the American Flag.  Must I stand alone?  Where are all my brothers, my sisters, the true Americans?