Memories

At night when the memories haunt
the time to clear your thoughts
to analyze your past
to feel, forgive, to let go.

but some memories hurt
drive like a knife through your soul
letting go is an impossible dream
forgiving is the nightmare relived

Sometimes you block the worst
forget they ever existed
no need to face those,
they can't hurt you anymore

At some time in your life they will return
they crash in on you
threaten your very existence
you must learn to deal with them

Late at night is the worst
you are alone, and vulnerable then
you must face them or die!
Yet physically you will be fine

Spiritually is where you suffer
you may ask "Where is God?"
"Why is this happening to me?"
your faith is lost

That is when your soul leaves
it flies away on the wind
echoing your past
you die inside

Unless you face the pain
Unless you face the memories
I know, I died....almost
instead I faced what is unfaceable

Since I have, I live
the nights still haunt me
the memories still come
and I accept them

I still hurt sometimes
parts of me are still dead
but my soul is here
I feel hope for the future

Hope gets me through those nights
those awful, memory laden nights
when the reality of my existence comes
and the reality of my future remain.